The Road Back to Me

I have taken every personality typing system under the sun - DISC, MBTI,  Birkman, color personalities - all of 'em. 

But let me tell you - all of these assessments pale in comparison to the uncanny accuracy of the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a typology of 9 basic interconnected personality types. I was shocked to discover that the Enneagram is not new on the scene - in fact it's an ancient typing system, that explains everything from fears and motivations to sin patterns to the childhood experience of each personality type. And y'all, IT IS SO REVEALING. The goal of the Enneagram is to get to know yourself on a deeper level in order to become the healthiest version of yourself - to understand why you do the things you do - respond the way you do - relate the way you do - sin the way you do. Once you spend some time understanding what makes you tick and why, the next step in your self (and life) discovery journey moves to learning how to best relate to other personality types in a healthy way.

Once I figured out my Enneagram number, I became utterly obsessed. I had SO many "ah-ha's". I also realized why my hubby and I (and a couple other close relationships) struggle sometimes. Simply put, the way we tick is SO different from one another and without fully understanding each other's basic needs, natural communication styles, fears, etc - conflict is not only inevitable, it's hard.

Turns out I'm a 7, which is The Enthusiast. Here are a few characteristics of a 7 and why I relate to this number so much.

Sevens....

....suffer from FOMO. I wish I could explain to you just how much I overextend and over-commit myself because I don't like missing out on things - especially events. On any given Saturday, I might get invited to 3 different events on opposite sides of town, and you better believe that I will try my damnedest to make it to all 3. It's really bad. But since I know now that my life and the world around me will go on if I don't make an event, I've given myself permission to say no to things for the sake of my own sanity.

....are perceived as confident and self-assured by others, but have lots of self-doubt. This one nearly moves me to tears. I'm not sure what I exude that makes others think I'm super confident and, while I am much more confident than I was in my teens, 20s, and even early 30s, I still question myself sometimes. It matters a lot to me how I'm perceived. I desire deeply to feel confident about my path and who I am as a woman of God, and I realize more than ever before that the only way to do and be that is to consistently seek the Lord in all things (hello, Proverbs 3:6).

....don't like it when people have too many expectations of them. In other words, I can not stand co-dependent relationships. I typically pursue friendships that are mutual in contribution and emotional support. If you are constantly looking to me to fill voids in your life, I run. Fast. I'm realizing now that it's important for me to verbalize my thoughts when I feel that way and set boundaries.

....tell jokes and funny stories when things get too serious. THIS IS SO ME. I am such a glass half full kinda girl and it literally makes me uncomfortable when people are sad or worried or negative for too long. I'm realizing now that it's healthy to sit in pain and just be a listening ear for those going through hard things. Pain and heartbreak are normal emotions that I don't need to be afraid of. 

....anticipate the best parts of life. For example, my hubby and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage this October. And you better believe I am already planning the most epic vow renewal on this side of the Mississippi, lol. Planning and anticipating events, vacations, and the like bring me so much joy. I just have to remember to enjoy the here and now. 

....don't like endings and usually wait for people to break up with them. This one made me laugh when I read it. I was telling my hubby last night about at least 2 boyfriends in the past that I legit started being mean to and pushed away to the point that they had no choice but to break up with me. And when they did, I was so relieved. But how selfish is that? Sevens also don't like conflict and confrontation, which doesn't help matters. I'm learning that relationships evolve and some fade and I owe it to myself and the other person to leave the relationship well, which includes being honest about facts and feelings. 

There is SO MUCH MORE but I'll stop there. If you want to grow as a human in 2019, you must get this book and this one, too. You will be better for it. I promise. 

Cheers to more self-discovery in 2019 and growing closer to God (and others) in the process!