Thursday, October 3, 2013

Guest Post: Happy Wife, Happy Life...Threat or Charge?


Today's guest post comes to you courtesy of my best blog friend, LaNesha of We are the Tabbs. LaNesha and I became instant friends almost a year ago after crossing paths in blog land. She's so genuine and funny. And her blog is a-maze...covering all things faith, marriage & family, the perils of being a working mom, DIY, and much more. Love her blog! And I know you will too...so go check her out!

P.S. She also offers custom blog design services.
She even designed my little blog. Told you she was awesome!
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Greetings, Selfless Ambition readers! I am coming to you live, from my kitchen during the 45 minutes in between getting home to cook dinner and dear husband walking through the door to eat it. Got a baby taking a bottle and hamburger browning....that gives me about 15 minutes here! Then it's bath, book, bedtime, and about an HOUR of studying up for tomorrow's 2nd grade lessons...whew!! 
(it is SO obvious that I'm a first-time working mom? I'm like, so proud of myself for juggling ONE kiddo and a job) 

proof. 

It is my absolute joy and honor to write a guest post for my dear blog friend Angela. Angela and I have never met but we are truly kindred souls - and best blog friends for life. I'm so excited for her baby girl- she'll be just as beautiful as her mom! My name is lanesha and I blog over at We Are The Tabbs. Feel free to come visit me sometime! 


So, I'll jump right in with what i decided to share out on today...I guess I felt the need to chat with the wives. 

Happy Wife, Happy Life...Threat or Charge? 

Background: I've been on a personal journey since becoming a mother. Not even on purpose, either. Just a few things that God has been revealing to me little by little. I came across a passage in a book I was reading, and it was about the importance of being predictably happy.

joyful.  

She said that when you're at work, when you come home to your husband (or when he comes home to you), and everytime your children get off the bus...they should know what to expect from you. If they can't count on anything else, they can count on their mom being thrilled to see them, and predictably happy. Wow. That hit me hard. 

Then, alongside that- I listen to Joyce Meyer Ministries nearly everyday. She always talks about living outside of your emotions. This was new to me because I'm pretty sure I've spent every moment of my life responding via my emotions and it's not Godly. 

It's not Godly to worry. 
It's not Godly to try and figure things out.
It's not Godly to seek understanding in trials...

But it's Godly to seek peace. It's Godly to trust. It's Godly to be joyful no matter what because we serve a God that allows us to petition him and cast our cares on him.  Like, do you get that? We can literally cast our care on him and go on enjoying our everyday life. We're so blessed.

So- that said, something interesting happened to me this month. It was {ahem} that "time" of the month. I've never really bought into the whole "hormone/mood swing" thing (and I now understand why) until this month.  This month, I found myself irritated- noticicably so. I was snapping at co-workers, my husband...and I wasn't as joyful as I've been spending the last few weeks. 

Then it hit me. 

I'd never bought the whole hormonal/mood swing thing because I spent most of my time wading in my emotions! If I was angry, the whole day was going to be ugly. If I was worried, I spent tons of time doing just that. It wasn't until I found myself genuinely confused about why I was feeling so irritated that I realized what was going on: Since I've been living outside of my emotions, when these feelings came on full force, I felt them. I literally thought, "ohhhh. this is what it feels like to be moody and hormonal!"  I must have really been a drama queen before because I've NEVER felt them before! But that's because I was living in my emotional state- acting upon however I felt at the moment. 

So bringing it back to "happy wife, happy life." I know people joke about that all the time. You know, "If Mama ain't happy- NOBODY is happy..." and usually that's supposed to be a friendly threat. 

But...the more I consider the implications that my mood has on my family and the people around me, I realize that that is actually a charge to myself. I need to remain happy. Predictably happy. Joyful. 

I know there will be hard days and hard times BUT- again, I serve a God that gives us the PRIVILEGE of actually dropping everything off in his lap and telling HIM to take care of it. I've been through some things lately that a year ago, would have brought out an ugly side of me. My husband lost his job. We lost over 20k in salary AND had a brand new baby. He was unemployed for a little over a month and you know what? It was literally the BEST month of our lives so far. We casted our cares on him, we knew he would take care of us, and he did. We actually had MORE than we needed the entire month and we spent that time bonding with our new daughter. That's just an example of how I could have very easily been mean and nasty towards my husband and ruined the entire month. But instead, I chose to remain PREDICTABLY happy...and the Lord brought us through with joy and laughter.

So, dear reader, I leave you with the charge as well...are you predictably happy? Does your family have to walk on eggshells when they get home until they can test out the mood you are in- or will they know that their home is the safest place in the world for them? My hope for my family is that after a bad day, I want them to think, "If I can just get home, everything will be alright." After all, you are the heart of your home, dear sister. Keep Momma happy, so everyone else can be happy. 

Be happy, wife...and have a happy life. 

~LaNesha 

7 comments:

  1. I love this...so encouraging! Lately I've been practicing the whole "predictability" thing with my husband through one of our rough patches and I've learned that I'm actually happier doing so. It makes me happier to serve him, make sure I'm thinking of him before myself. There are times when I want to be selfish and go to sleep before he gets home from his second shift, but when I stay up to make sure his food is heated and to just let him know I care it makes it far easier to get through those rough times. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I know now that God used you to deliver a Word to encourage me to keep pressing on.

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  2. Thank you. girls compete with each other women empower each other this is indeed truth ;) this will never leave me, NEVER!! quit depending on others to make you happy rather create ur own happiness not by might nor power but by the spirit of the Lord. xoxo

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